I Choose What I See

This weekend some of life’s uncertainties pulled at me. Bouts of loneliness as a new love faded set it. Questions of futures, and goals, and decisions haunted. And so I prayed. I lately have become more and more accustomed to praying aloud. I pray to God, to the Universe, to my guides, my angels, to the oneness in all life, to all aspects of my wide-ranging belief system, I speak. I asked for answers, or at least for freedom from the thoughts that pained me. And something told me to read through the three pages of notes I’d written recently in summary of a speed-read through A Course in Miracles. It’s a book I can’t say I’d recommend. Its language is often stark and limiting, and even fear-inducing. But in it too, I found a handful of tiny gems buried deep within its rubble. And one of them this weekend was everything I needed to hear, “I choose to see peace instead of this.”

It was one tiny line in a string of suggestions that tended not to resonate with me at all. But this weekend, it cracked open my mind. It set me free.

Instead of heartbreak, instead of waiting, instead of loss, I could see wholeness, and power, and gain. Instead of complete uncertainty, I could see the brilliance of choices I could imagine, knowing that the Universe tends often to provide ones far more miraculous than I could ever fathom.

gfb crystalsIt’s just a tiny change in direction of perspectives. Instead of any negative, fearful, lonely, sad, blue thought I have, I can make each into a miracle. The guy you like hasn’t called, try instead seeing yourself as the strong, incredible, amazing woman he is thinking about and too intimated to call. The job you want hasn’t been offered to you, see yourself as the candidate they so want to hire, the one that could bring brightness to everyone’s day, effectiveness to the job, results to the department, the candidate they never knew could actually exist and they just haven’t found yet. That extra five pounds, it’s a brilliant way to transform yourself, you get to go through the process of change, making constant choices that you feel good about, and that you know are showing your body love–you get to every day enjoy your progress. Instead of anything that hurts you, any thoughts that bring you down, choose instead thoughts of love, of peace, of miracles. You don’t have to see what others think you might. You get to see whatever you want to.

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